Porn on the Road

One of the best things for me on the road is porn. It's pretty much fact that every guy jerks off. I know guys that have girlfriends and wives and they still jerk off. They are guaranteed a fuck or blow job everyday... yet still jerk off.

The guy I currently share a room with on the road and I talked about jerking off at the beginning of the season. At the time, I had a boyfriend... but told him it was a girlfriend back in New York. Just like my freshman year of college we set some ground rules.

No matter where we were, we would always order pizza to the room. If one of us were fucking we would leave the pizza box outside the door. We would try and give the guy a time frame but sometimes he would take longer than expected.

Most pizza deliveries come with menus. If one of us were gunna jerk off to porn we would leave the menu in front of the door.

Well, guys on the team caught on... that led to banging on doors and all of that.

Now, I am guessing that you guys want to hear that this led to he and I jerking off in our jock straps every night on the road.... well... it doesn't happen that way with he and I.

I have woken up at night and saw the bathroom light on and just assumed he was either taking a dump or jerkin it.

The next morning I asked him point blank. He fessed up to jerkin off. When he would disappear with his laptop, I knew he was going to bust a load. He has a pretty amazing body but I really don't think of him like that.

There is one guy that i wanna talk about that is my crush of the season who is NOT on my team.

I would also like to thank the site guys with IPhones for helping me jerk off at night.

If any of these guys are you... I want to bust my load all over you.

Why it's not me

The last post about my slump buster, I had someone leave an article from a sports writer who is trying to get a MLB player to come out of the closet and become a spokesman for gay athletes. Here are my thoughts.

I did read it.
I am not a potential trailblazer
I am not the gay Jackie Robinson.

This dilemma has plagued my soul: Do I come out? Do I continue to hide?

This blog has been my release so to speak. When I first entered the minor league system I had endured 4 years of high school and 4 years of college where almost everyday I heard the word faggot being thrown around like the word "the"

It comes so freely and it scares the shit out of me.

I don't know who you are Jeff Pearlman. I don't even want to try and google you. Right now, as a gay-closeted MiLB player I do not want to come out. There are so many reasons why I won't come out and say who I am.

First, I have a feeling that my team would void my contract and then it's pretty much over for my career in baseball. I dream of being an everyday player at a Major league club. The fact that I sleep with men instead of women would end my career. In today's environment I want to make sure I can make the most money for my talent.

If I were an ARod and I were to come out that would be big news. SportsCenter wall-to-wall. If a utility player on the Royals were to come out I think it would be big news for a few days and then the player would quietly be sent down to the minors. The club would also try and let him out of his contract.

Those are the thoughts that go through my head when I think about coming out.

Stepping up to the plate and hearing "You're - a - faggot. clap clap clap clap clap" echo throughout every stadium I show up to. Its really tough to try and think of enduring that.

Do I think that one day it will happen? Yes. Am I going to be the one who comes out. Right now the answer is no.

You can read entries on this blog where I have hidden who I am from my teammates because I fear this.

It would start with talking to my agent about if this is the right move for me to take. I don't think any player out there would have their agent tell him "Yeah. Go For it!"

I respect what you want but I don't think that there is an easy way of doing this.

There have been plenty of gay players playing ball who have come out after the fact. A few years ago hen I got hurt I decided to get an MBA so once my time playing ball was over I had some kind of advanced degree to fall back on.

Right now. Where I am with myself and where I see the business of baseball, you will not see a gay player come out publicly.

The Slump Buster

I have been trying to get over the ex for a few weeks. It's hilarious that a commenter said that I needed a Slump Buster fuck.

When a guy posted that in the comments I laughed my ass off and then jumped into protective mode. Did he know who I am?

The obvious answer is no. But whoever you are Randy, you are obviously a baller.

In college, as I had said in an earlier post, a slump buster was brought into effect when a guy on the team was just playing like garbage. There were a number of girls who would hang at the "baseball house" that just wanted to fuck.

This story is not about that bitch but about my slump buster fuck that happened in the not so distant past.

I was sitting at my apartment. Distraught, sipping on a Miller Light just thinking of the ex and how he could go out a fuck another dude. Many guys here have said to put myself in his shoes and look at myself. With that I knew I needed to get out of this funk.

I decided to log into AIM and see what if anyone was online that I knew in the area. No one. I decided to check out Adam 4 Adam and Craigslist. I have always felt so dirty posting an ad on Criagslist back before I was a taken man.

The site is easy enough to find a guy to just fuck, no strings attached.

I wrote the text to my ad to make sure I had all the right keywords that guys look for. "Masc Straight Bi Top" Preppy Frat Boy. Ect...

I posted my ad and waited nervously. I got some great responses back from people but one caught my eye. He wasn't waht I would normally look for in a guy.

He was skinny but toned. Blonde hair and blue eyes and about 5'10" according to his email.

We chatted on AIM for a half hour talking about what we were looking to get into and he told me that he was new to the city and looking for guys to get to know. To me it sounded like he was looking for friends and a boyfriend. I made it clear that I was looking for a one time thing.

We agreed to meet up for a beer and take it from there.

When he walked in he was better than I expected. He had filled out from his pics he had sent me. We talked about life. I avoided talking about my "job" in finance. Luckily he had just graduated law school and was looking for work in the city closest to me. He is smart and a pretty cool guy. He then bluntly asked when we were going back to his place.

I drove back to his place. A 1 bedroom apartment that was very nicely decorated. He had pictures of him and his friends from college and law school partying on the walls. I really didn't get to look around much because he made the move first. He kissed me.

That led to an intense 20 minute make out session where our clothes kept getting thrown off followed by intense kissing.

I got him down to his boxers and he was hard as a rock and already leaking precum.

From there I pretty much got caught up in the moment. There was foreplay but then he wanted me to just fuck him.

For a cool guy that I would never pick out as gay in a straight bar, he took my cock like a champ.

This went on for about 2 hours or so. Off and on. Stopping to get some water make out and just relax before going for round 2. After round 2 he asked me to stay the night.

I told him that I did not want to stay the night. I hope he didn't take offense to that. It's hard looking for a one night thing with a guy. It's easy for me to pick and choose what kind of guy I want to bang. It's another trying not to be emotional about it and wanting more.

He has text me a few times in the last few days looking to fool around. I may do it again. I know what I am getting myself into and am setting myself up for something that I don't know I want to deal with.

I don't want a boyfriend. I just wanna have a good time.

As far as him being a slump buster, after we fucked I had one of the best games this year. The slump buster works. Especially when he is a hot blonde looking to fuck.

Double treat for you guys who scrolled all the way down. Some hot pix sent in from my readers just like you. Feel free to send some to me.

Thank You

Wow. I never thought I could have this much support from guys here. 22 comments and thank you to each of you who left one.

I also got some e-mails from you guys. I really like that you guys left a note wishing me all the best.

I think Randy had the best comment.

Sorry it didnt work out. Sounded like you had best of both worlds for awhile. Take care. You need a slump buster fuck alright.

-Randy

Haha... a slump buster. I really do need a slump buster fuck.

In college I had a few of those. Mostly with over weight girls just looking to fuck. Those can be pretty funny when you recount the story the next morning in the locker room.

For the most part I have been playing, working out and using my frustration and anger in the weight room and working on my game. It's paying off and I am playing a lot better. Guys are asking me why I am so angry. Tell them that some dumb cunt from home fucked me over. Doesn't know what she is missing.

Randy- shoot me an email. Clubhousecloset at g mail

(I don't want spam)

Here is a link: very not safe for work of a hot guys dressing in a locker room. Should help get your day started. I haven't been sleeping much so I'm up and awake.

Break Up

It's been a long time but I wanted to let you guys know that Ryan and I broke up a few weeks ago. 

We have been living a part from each other for the last few months and it's been tough. There are two sides to every story and this is mine. 

As I said, Ryan (not Joe... fuckers... sorry for the mental slip) and I have been living a part for the last few months. It was rough for both of us. More on me mentally because I realized that I really couldn't always be me. There was me when I was with Ryan and 'baseball me'. That really started to get to him. 

In March I hadn't seen him in a while and I went to see him. When I got to his place he was acting really weird. That was the first sign that I knew something was wrong. His phone calls had been brief and he just wasn't the same. 

Later on that night I asked him if he had been messing around with someone else. He said no and immediately got up to go to the bathroom. When he came back he told me that he hated not seeing me. He had been out one night and met a guy. They hit it off and ended up sleeping with each other. 

I'm furious at this point because I have been faithful to him. I really wanted the night to just end. I know couples go through this every day but I never thought it would be me. 

That night turned into another and into another. He didn't know how to tell me because he liked me as well but "needed the physical attention"

I tried to take the pain and frustration and anger out on the field but that failed miserably. I went into one of the worst slumps I have ever had. 

I'm not exactly over it. It has taken me a while to post this blog post because of how crazy, bat shit in love I was with this guy. I'm single and for now I am keeping it that way.

Who knows what is next down the road... I am looking forward to a rebound fuck in the next week or so. I am on the road so I am sure it will be a good one. 

Wow

I get a lot of shit for a mental slip.

I'm pretty tired right now and people are really fast to jump on me because I made a mistake with the pseudonym I gave my boyfriend.

I did mean Ryan and not Joe. You guys really pay attention to detail here.

Gabrielle Angel I really want to know how you KNOW who I am... or so you say.

Steevo - I am not 45. I am in the closet and I am a baseball player.

Anonymous' - Thanks for catching the mistake.

Yah know... I haven't posted on here regularly because with everything I was going through and wanted to say... I posted on here. I now have a boyfriend that I bitch a lot too.

It's strange that something I never thought I would have has come out of nowhere and become something so awesome and intricate to my life.

To all the haters out there: Go Fuck yourself :-)

To my supporters: Thanks!

Back to Spring

Welcome to Spring Training. Last Spring Training was a whirlwind for me. I was around a whole new bunch of guys. I had just fell hard for Joe and my game picked up and I got noticed by a lot of clubs.

That last part is important for me. Other clubs had noticed how well I had been playing and inquired about me. This caused my current club to freak out a little bit and lock me up into a deal that I liked. I'm developing and I like that.

Baseball is still a passion of mine. Joe is also still a passion of mine.

Yes... I am still dating Joe. It's crazy to me that we can still be so in tune with each other.

I am a pretty lucky guy. I was talking with a guy who has been down in the dumps recently. He's a really good looking guy.

He was getting pissed off at guys he meets and how they don't seem to want to date him. Now, I am possibly the worst person to talk to about relationships. I am a baseball player who has a boyfriend in the closet. I feel bad for this guy because I am pretty lucky.

I have this boyfriend who is just an amazing guy. He supports and loves me.

Sorry I can't be much help with the dating world, what I can answer are a bunch of questions that you guys may have. ASK SLUGGER. Hit me up fellas.

Merry Holidays!

Merry Holidays to everyone! I have been blessed with so much to be grateful for this year. Ryan and I have been physically apart most of the holiday season but it's something we have got used to.

Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined having a boyfriend while playing ball. It's not all as happy as you may think it is. I still have to go through hoops to hide my true feelings for him while we are out with friends or he meets a guy on my team.

I have a feeling that this coming season will be a lot more trying for me. We won't be living close to each other, which will suck for any kind of physical contact. I want to make it work because I love the guy so much.

I hope all of you had an awesome holiday and the New Year is better than 2008!

Other Jocks

I have got some great e-mails over the last few weeks from other athletes at various levels thanking me for posting again.

It's no big deal. Thanks for reading and listening to me. What makes this whole thing pretty cool is that I have had some great conversations with guys over the years. I am talking, as I write this out, with a guy who is a knuckleballer shooting shit.

Anyway... thought I would post some of the hot pictures you guys have been sending me. Don't forget to keep them coming.

Boredom

Life without baseball is boring. Let's be serious folks. As you guys have seen, I was in a zone this past season and rarely came on here to vent or tell stories. I was incredibly focused. It was disgusting the routine I was in.

That is very important for an athlete. My routine was tight some days and light others. For the most part, I would work out in some form or another.

Ryan is also part of my routine and was there for me the entire season. We are definitely in a Bromance. Guys have asked me what our relationship is like and I really don't know how to describe it besides a Bromance with lots of sex.

I have had guys ask me if I was scared that a teammate would find porn or my blog on my computer... I am really not concerned with that because I am the only one who uses this laptop. I have a desktop out in my living room that I use to download music and do random shit on out there and only use my laptop for this kind of stuff.


With my free time I now have I have spent a lot more time with Ryan. We decided to have a "gay day"... his words, I swear. We decided to take an hour drive to a really nice mall and do some shopping and be ourselves where it was less likely we would run into someone we knew.


I was very relaxed with this and caught myself with my guard down. Nothing big, but had this over whelming "I don't give a fuck" moment where I wanted to go and make out with him in the middle of a Ruby Tuesdays or something... I also had this small fear that someone would see us trying on clothes and take my picture with a cell phone camera. You learn to live with it.


We did some clothes shopping and then headed to a movie. We had a bunch of stuff to choose from and he decided on High School Musical 3.

I was secretly happy that he decided on this movie because of my man crush on Zac Efron. If I were to ever meet him, I would want to bend him over and just fuck the shit outa him because of he's annoying. Muscular-twink annoying.

Anyway... we are watching the movie and there is a scene where Zac and the black dude head to the locker room for some reason and their replacements for the 4th installment are getting out of the shower.

There was a really built guy walking in the background and missed the premise of the scene but these two younger guys wanted to take over the lockers of Efron to show that they are the new leaders on the team. It's very high school. Zac says that they have to earn it, grab their clothes and run out of the locker room...

My heart started to pound because what happens for the next 2 minutes of the movie happened to me in real life, and it was in a Disney movie.

I have talked about what it was like back in high school and I remember telling a few guys, over e-mail, a story about hazing and what happened to me.

It was our first day in the locker room that we shared with the Varsity football team. As freshman, we had one small side of the locker room. From the start of our summer sessions we were told that we had to shower before we left the locker room to go home.

All of us were nervous 13, 14 year olds... we all started to shower and it got comfortable for everyone. One guy left the shower room and found that all of our towels had been taken. Turns our the seniors had decided to take them from us and we would have to run out to the middle of the gym to get them, during Vollyball practice. We grabbed our junk and made the run, like all the other freshman teams before us.

In the movie, these guys have towels on and Zac has their clothes. Still, it was weird watching it because I lived an entire scene years before it was filmed. I don't know if one of those guys I told the story to wrote it into the movie for me, but it was freaky.

I told Ryan the story at dinner that night and he was laughing. He has some fun hazing stories from being president of his fraternity and from high school too.

I am gearing up for a trip to NY in the next few weeks to see my family and hang out around Thanksgiving. I'll be away from Ryan for a while and it's making me sad thinking about it.

Fuck I am really into him.

End of Season

Hey guys. Many of you have been concerned with my well being. Thank you for all the e-mails. I am doing great.

Bill wrote: Hey man, just wondered how your season went; PLEASE update us when you get a chance. Say, I was wondering if you could confirm or deny the rumor that I have always heard.....is the team captain usually the guy with the biggest cock on the team?

Honestly Bill... I have NEVER heard that and have never voted a "captain" by his cock size. It may be a fantasy of yours that you read on a message board, but it is not a part of my reality playing ball. Thanks for the question though.

Another B writes in, "Is this a legit website? I just recently retired as a professional athlete and was looking online today and ran across this blog. I know a few guys in the Major Leagues from doing physical therapy with them, and just meeting others along the way. I have never actually spoken with a gay professional athlete before and am curious to hear more about you and your site...why you're doing it and what kind of reaction you're getting. Personally, I wonder if you just get a lot of pro-athlete fantasy stalkers who just want to live vicariously through your story, or try and coerce you into meeting. I'm also surprised you don't have any additional fears of getting caught writing these blogs on your computer."

B. - Yes, this is a legit site. I do exsist. I have had many people question who I am and went through a hard time a few months ago with the site and a bunch of assholes, but know this, I am a real guy out there playing ball.

"I'm sorry you lost in the playoffs. Does that mean more time for blogging?! "

Anon- What playoffs are you talking about???

All right... more about life... I will have some more time to talk about life since I am now in the offseason. I sat down with a trainer at the beginning of my season and set some goals. Each of these goals I set, I attained this season.

Professionaly, it was an amazing season with UPS and DOWNS... but for the most part the ups made me smile.

I also had another reason to smile this season, Ryan. Yes, we are still going strong. Ryan and I have been together for a while now. I really thought I started to get sloppy during the season because I wanted him at every game. I knew that couldn't happen because I would be all kinds of distracted.

I think I have found an amazing balance between my life with my team, at my job and my life at home with Ryan.

I will get to more of that in the next post. I have a lot of shit going on in my head.

Wrestlers Jerkin Off

According to Fleshbot, the two Nebraksa wrestlers named Paul Donahoe and Kenny Jordan are featured on gay porn site, Fratmen.tv as "Nash" and "Cal". Most blogs have picked up their nude pics and Fleshbot has their preview from Fratmen.

Some people are making a big deal out of this. Is it because these guys stripped down and made a few bucks over the summer? They have awesome bodies. Why shouldn't they be able to make a few bucks off of it?

I know it looks bad for the school and could hurt recruiting. Wrestlers always seem to do crazy shit. The wrestlers that I knew in high school and college always came off as bi to me. I would never make a move on them, because they were bigger and knew how to fuck someone up.

Anyway- I hope these guys can stay in school. I also hope they end up fucking eachother on some website somewhere because they are hot and need to share their hotness.

All Star Breaks

Not only do you have the MLB All Star Break, there is also an All Star Game for AAA and AA teams. It's a chance to show off your stuff to other team scouts and have fun with the guys you know on other teams.

A common misconception is that you don't get to know other guys on other teams. I have a bunch of friends on other teams that I get to see when we play in their city and after the game a few of them show us a good time.

I had a very fun All Star Break. I really can't go much into detail but it was a lot of fun. I met some really cool guys that play ball and Ryan was with me. I really couldn't ask for anything more.

Ryan and I have been able to hang out a lot more and we are honestly best friends. I am scared that someone will catch on to us as we get closer but right now I don't want the panic attacks of thinking about it. I am enjoying my time with him.

Ask Slugger: Underwear and Jocks

So... I have been getting a LOT of questions from you guys about what kind of underwear I wear on and off the field. I have talked about it on the blog but not in much detail so here we go.

Growing up I would always wear a jock with cup because I really didn't want my balls to be busted while playing any sport. Football and Baseball. Once I got up to the HS level and was playing American Legion started to wear compression shorts that had a cup built into it.

Since then I have gone away from wearing a jock strap and have worn these shorts for everything. They are comfortable, help protect my junk as well as my thighs and ass when I slide into 2nd base.

Off the field it varies. Depending on the day I will wear an assortment of undies.

Mostly I wear boxer briefs. Nothing designer, but Champion brand that have a soft waist band and form fit. They are so comfortable. Now that it's summer, when I go out I have been wearing these briefs under my jeans. It is so comfortable to wear while going out.

I hope some people in the past have not been upset when I get short with questions about underwear and what other guys on my team wear. I have had some guys ask repeatedly for me to SEND them pairs of my used underwear. Please don't do that... LOL

I hope this answers some questions about what I wear. Any others?

I love Crazy Christians

Anonymous said...

you guys are sick...Justin is not gay so why lust after him...it is sick that IJ would even send these to you...Justin is a strong Christian with very high morals...we are very close friends and I can't believe you pervs are this sick!

So, if you scroll down a few posts you will see that I received pictures of Justin Gaston from International Jock. I posted his stats, which was in the e-mail... and thats about it. One of his personal friends wrote, anonymously, that I am a perv for posting his pictures here on the blog.

I never said that he was gay... it was more of an admiration of his talents... not only does he have a slammin body, he has enough talent to make it on to Nashville Star and compete for a prize. If you are going to live in the public eye and be on a reality show, you have to know tat pictures you took before you were on television will end up on the internet the next day.

Look at James from Big Brother and his gay porn past. I am not saying that Justin has done gay porn, was only using James as an example.

To this anonymous friend: You obviously googled "Justin Gaston gay" in order to find my blog, I am the third link there. Is there something that you may have been thinking in the back of your head? I never even wrote "I hope he is gay" or something like that in my post, just shared the beauty of his body.

I found some more pictures of him... so here you go, enjoy more of this beauty.