Friday, December 02, 2011
Telling My Family
I remember watching the video above when it first hit YouTube.I cried my eyes out. I wanted to throw him in bed and cuddle with him. Here is this macho guy, a lot like myself, coming out to his dad on the phone and his dad loves him. I was incredibly happy for him.
My trip home to New York was hell. My flight was delayed getting into JFK and my cousin was stuck in traffic. I asked my cousin to pick me up for one reason... I wanted him to be the first family member I told. He's been like a brother to me all these years. Of course it did not go the way I planned. It never does. This entire weekend did not go as planned.
My cousin shows up late. I'm sweating. He asked me what I was up to on Wednesday night... the biggest night of the year to go out and get shitfaced. I had made plans to meet up with my buddies I saw at TJ's wedding.
Cousin: So are you fucking a lot of hot chicks in (city)?
I stared out the window at the passing cars on I-95.I thought I was going to puke.
I finally knew I needed to just rip the band-aid right off and I said this...
"No...not at all. I have a boyfriend..."
I fought back tears. I couldn't look at him in the face.
He started laughing like I was telling a joke and said something a long the lines of 'funny joke' or whatever... all I know is that I just let loose everything I have ever wanted to tell my cousin about being gay.
While I was talking a mile a minute my cousin pulled off of 95 and into a gas station. I really had not noticed because tears were coming out of me and my heart was racing a mile a minute. I honestly have no idea what I was saying to my cousin. Looking back I am trying to remember but all I can remember is me being a crying mess and my cousin looking at me.
He reached over and gave me a huge hug. Longer than a usual bro hug. This was a cry I had not had since I lost my Grandfather to cancer. For those of you out there who have gone through something similar I hope you know what I mean.
Again... the blur kicked in and my cousin and I talked about a lot of stuff. We stopped and grabbed a drink at a bar and just talked. Honestly.
He was shocked. At first he did not believe that I was being serious but when I started to cry my eyes out he was just in shock and didn't know how to react or what to do so he just listened to me.
While at the bar I showed him pictures of Reid. Talked about how we met. I didn't hold anything back and told him that we had started off as friends of friends, then fuck buddies and now a guy that I am absolutly in love with.
From there... the weekend went downhill... fast.
More on that later.