Do you read Salon? I don't. Today, a friend of the blog sent along this article where Salon editor Steve Kornacki comes out of the closet. If you haven't read it yet take a read and come back when you're done.
Yes... I just gave you homework. I'll wait...
I can remember days like Steve had... scared. Wanting more but constantly in denial. There was a switch that went off in my head one day when I was with Reid where I knew I wanted to be more than just a fuck buddy with him... but was too scared to tell him that too his face... he was the one who told me he was in love with me and I was relieved.
Steve is not alone out there. I am one of millions of guys out there that has gone through something similar.
Since I told you guys about my new boyfriend things have been amazing. Reid and I took a gigantic step out amongst friends of mine currently not living in my city. I took him as my date to a wedding in Boston a few weeks ago.
I've almost known Reid for a full year and never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I could ever bring a guy around some of my best friends from growing up. My buddy - TJ - invited me to his wedding and I remember checking off yes for my +1 and I was nervous as fuck. I called him and the conversation was predictable but I had this long nightmare built up in my head.
Me: Hey Teeej can I talk to you about something?
TJ: What up? Who's your +1 for the wedding? Bet she's hot...
Me: Well... it's my boyfriend Reid...
TJ: Are you fucking with me?
My heart sank when he said that. I went on to explain how we met and how long he had been together and what he meant to me. TJ is a guy that I have known since middle school. Calling each other gay, cock suckers and every other slur in the book has always been a part of who we are.
TJ: Holy shit! I didn't know you were serious I shouldn't have said that... I love you bro.
Coming out to friends has been easier than with family. Coming out to my family is looming over my head. I have the same fears as every one else does. Friends it seems like something different. This heart to heart with TJ was an hour on the phone. That's an eternity when it comes to guys talking on the phone. I broke down and cried a little bit with him... which he told me to stop being a little bitch... jokingly. The real reason I wanted to ask him is because I did not want to create a scene... something bigger than the wedding. Sure it would be nice to ease into it by introducing Reid at a bar or social event.
TJ's parents picked up and left my home town for Arizona after high school. He currently lives in Boston with his now wife where she is from. I was worried about bringing a dude to his wedding before telling my parents... but this was something I wanted to do and think I needed to do before telling my parents. Every one is different.
The weekend was fantastic. I had some comp days that I had to use in 2011 so I decided to make a trip to NYC before heading to Boston. I was lucky enough to stay with friends and even met up with my friend JP. Reid met me in NYC for a night out. It was his first time in the city and wanted to have a huge night out.
The rest of the wedding was a blur. 3 of my buddies from high school reached out to me. TJ spilled the beans and they wrote me incredible e-mails to me as friends. My entire life I have been worried about what my friends would think. That they would be disgusted with me and never want to hang out with me ever again. Like I would have AIDS and cooties at the same time.
These guys were my high school jock buddies. Fucking the prom queen... extremely masculine. I wasn't too thrilled with TJ telling these guys and not letting me do it on my own terms. Regardless the wedding was amazing.
I decided that Thanksgiving is going to be my time to come out of the closet to my parents. Not at dinner but during the weekend. I fucking nervous as hell and let's hope that this goes well.