The day after I told my buddy Steve that I had a boyfriend I had a very wide range of emotions. Confusion, pride, happiness and I was scared. I texted Reid to thank him for the beer and to tell him how awesome he was.
He asked me to come over to his place that night after work to just hang out. Something was different. Reid had made some pasta, salad and meatballs for us to eat and watch TV.
There was a time while I was in college where I wrote down in a journal what I wanted in a boyfriend. Well, I had written it as "girlfriend" as a just in case someone found it. I wanted someone I could cuddle on a couch with and watch a ball game. I wanted someone who would let me go out with my friends and not feel jealous.
That night I thought about that journal entry and what I had in Reid. Over the summer our relationship has got stronger.
The next hurdle is going to be my family. I am terrified of how they will take their macho baseball player son as having a girlfriend. Part of me doesn't care because I love Reid so much and know that my parents will be loving and accepting of who I really am no matter what. There is still that terror in the pit of my stomach that comes in shockwaves when I lay awake at night thinking about telling them.
Something I do know is that before Christmas I will be coming out to my parents.
Over the last few weeks, with extra time on my hands, I've spent a lot of time online and on the road. Which has meant time away from my man and more time to kill in hotel rooms.
I caught up with a bunch of e-mail and started talking with two separate people who live in New York City. One is a varsity athlete at a NYC college. The other is an investment banker in his mid-20's trying to come to terms with liking guys, being gay and is terrified of having his friends find out that he likes dudes.
I was once in both of their shoes.To me, it's crazy to think about how much I have changed in the last year. I've found myself. I'm comfortable with who I am and not afraid to be who I am when I am around old college buddies or new people I meet.
I know a lot of you come here to the blog for my sexy stories and possibly the pictures I post. I have one that I have been working on from my pre-Reid days which I will post soon. Just wanted to share with you guys that the summer has been fantastic and that the fall is going to be even better.