Monday, March 22, 2010

Just like me

Over the last couple of days I have had some awesome e-mails from guys. Through this blog I have learned that I am not alone. Not alone in the fact that there are guys out there who have gone through the same stuff as me.

In the years that I have been keeping this I'm amazed at how many people have such similar stories and experiences as I do.

A lot of people want to know what I have been up to. Well here is a little update on my life.

I am still in the world of professional baseball. I am still living in the USA.

I have adjusted to living in my new city and have a really awesome gay friend. I decided that with my new start I was going to come out of the closet a little bit.

I talked with a few bloggers that I keep in touch with; along with a few other ballers I have connected with over time and decided that my identity will be kept secret. It's better that way for right now.

Back to my life... I have a gay friend that I met at a gay bar. Not exactly a guy that I would want to fuck but a guy that I really got a long with. He has introduced me to a few guys in the area and I have a small network of gay friends that are pretty awesome.

I keep my work life separate and so far it's been great.

We'll see how it goes. Right now I am loving life and have been really busy. Sorry to those who I have yet to respond too. I promise that I will get back to you.


D said...

hey! I think your blog is really fantastic. I cant help but admit my initial concern at first with the truthfulness of it, how many people out there on the internet lie about who they are on blogs and etc... but going through your pages, either you are who you say you are or you're a total loon fetishist, so im going to go with the first of the two.

I come from the media standpoint, having recently worked on a tremendous sports event in the production room of a major television studio. And even there, the amount of homophobia i had to overhear was unbearable. We're not talking inside of a locker room or in the dirt, these are tech nerds. I dont normally work in sports media but had a great opportunity so I took it, and was absolutely horrified at how accepted it is. I heard the worst slurs imaginable. It was like a splash of cold water water on my gay face, accustomed to my gay friendly neighborhood, with my gay friends in my gay bubble. Theres more to the story- I took the situation to management and reported it...lets just say, there wasn't much talk of "fags" and "queers" after that, but I'm confident it was only a temporary fix and nothing permanent. And I cant even begin to imagine how it must be to work with that all the time! While I love sports media since its live and exciting, I dont know if I could continue in that specific niche because of how hetero-normative it is.

I have a great admiration for anyone who attempts to carve out a life in that world. have you heard of the play Take Me Out? Its about an openly gay baseball player.

Anonymous said...

You finally posted again man! Great post and I'm happy your happy because that's most important part. Hope your baseball season goes with and enjoy new city. That's awesome u were able to meet some gay friends where u live. I know I would have trouble doing that. Keep it up man! It was great getting an update!

Michael Elliot said...

it is really nice to have an update man hope all is well

NorcalSam said...


Was wondering what was happening and it's good to know you didn't give up the blog altogether, Let us know how it goes this year while you are a little bit out.

Are the folks you met inthe same situation as you? Or do they understand your situation and respect it? Or are you keeping them in the dark about what you do? Would be interested in knowing how you manage that.

Good luck this season.

Cincinnati NAMjA said...

Great to see that you are doing well, and wish you luck in the upcoming baseball season!

jlo said...

I am so happy that you posted. I was starting to worry that you might have forgotton us in blogworld. LOVE AND HUGS

chuckintucson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chuckintucson said...

Went to edit my last comment, but couldn't find a way, so deleted it and will add this one instead.

I have not lived in the sports world, but many years ago I dated a pitcher in the major leagues. The strain of not being out put a huge strain on our relationship (more on his part than mine), and it didn't last.

I can only imagine what a different place we'd both be in today if being who we were wasn't such a big deal to others.

You have my respect and admiration. Good to see you blogging again.


dan said...

i might come out, I may never come out. I think you can take your time either way. making some gay friends is definitely cool. glad to hear you like the new city and you're doing well. I'm considering a new city and maybe come out some more actually. take care.

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for a while now. I am finally making a comment.

It's great to hear you are enjoying your new city so much. I too am gay, but not out to the world. It is great being able to read your posts and know that there are others out there who are like me.

I look forward to your next post.

Figuring It Out said...

Glad to see you're back and things are going well.

Jack said...

This is the first post I've read on your blog. I like it like the rest of your blog.

Anonymous said...

Welcome back bud! I was worried you might never right on here again. Please keep in touch as you truly do make life better (for me anyway).

Here's to another baseball season!

Go Blue Jays Go! :)

Anonymous said...

"write" not "right" ... it's late ok. Haha.

Michael said...

Hey Slugger,

Glad to hear you're doing well. I was one of your early readers (I used to have a gay Red Sox blog and we chatted from time to time) and have checked from you on time to time. Glad to see you sounding happy.

Best of luck to you man in your new baseball career whatever it is and wherever it take you!

Thirty3 Naked Laydies said...

We are sooo proud of you. Just take baby steps. Be yourself. Don't compromise your life. As time passes, you will become comfortable... and tailor your life accordingly. But please, continue living!

Jeff Barbose said...

Sure, coming out is a personal decision, but like all personal decisions, they affect others.

No man is an island and all that.

So while it's your choice to stay in the closet unless you're actively working against gay people, at which point all bets are off, consider the fact that you're passively working against gay people.

Beyond sins of omission, I mean.

You're getting all the benefits of gay people without any of the hard work of being one in this world.

In this country, anyway.

Get laid when you want, get support from fawning "fans" and from misplaced pro-self-empowerment junkies and even get your ya-yas "out" and express yourself "openly" on a blog!

You get to do it all under cover of anonymity.

You even get to delete this comment if I've set you off.

Over the years, I've seen people call for "sexual boycotts" of men like you but they never work because too many gay men are just teen boys with adult means, which means there will always be plenty of gay men to be there to think with their dicks when really they're screwing the rest of us.

So really, whose life are you living if you're not engaged with the important parts and the biggest thing you're risking isn't being who you are but rather that people will find out you're busy being who you aren't?

Anonymous said...

I'm a young lawyer who is rabid about rugby, waterpolo and baseball. I'm gay, in the closet and happy w/my life. I make no apologies about my life choices. In January, I broke my back in a rugby match. I'm on a long slow road to a full recovery. Besides the love and support of my mates and family, surfing blogs has kept me sane. I came across your blog by happenstance and found it interesting and very touching. I usually just read blogs w/out commenting but the May 4th comment of Jeff Barbose got my Irish up.
You owe no one anything! Being gay doesn't obligate you to become a crusader, spokesman or standard bearer for others. Each of us struggle in our own very individual way to come to terms with life as it is presented to us. All that's important is that we're honest with ourselves. You have shared your journey with others and deserve a lot of credit for doing so. I wish you nothing but happiness and success. Barbose would do well being a little less verbose. Cheers!

caspine said...

Hey, i just started reading your blog while surfing around. i'm glad your happy and working towards a more free livelihood. however really think before coming out of the closet. it's not for everyone as you've probably read from other peoples stories. i am an accountant for a huge nonprofit and wished i'd stayed in the closet. people and things changed dramatically once the closet doors opened. for example, the ceiling is a lot higher in the corporate world for gay people. sometimes i wish i could take it back. no luck though. glad to hear you're doing well. happy posting.

Mike said...

Man, you are who you are and it's your own choice whether to come out or not. I am sure you have weighed the arguments many times, long before reading them in these comments.

I'm lucky to have been out most of my long life and do encourage people to do so, but I'd never pressure anyone.

Your blog seems heartfelt and real. It's probably helpful to many who read it. I hope that it is helpful to you too. Please continue to write whenever you can.

mmital4ath said...

hey man
just wan to say that I really miss your updates. I am recently separated and always like hearing how other people deal with the stress of staying on the DL with their sexuality. I have a very public media (tv) job and I am always nervous wondering if and when I will be outed. It would be great to hear from you. I always relate to what you are going through and admire how you have opened up to the masses. It is inspirational

DruggyBear said...


Anonymous said...

"in all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane." "Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities." --Oscar Wilde

DruggyBear is entitled to and has now expressed his mono-syllabic blather, Move one, never to darken these pages again!

"A Gay Athlete's Life" has been and continues to be the sensitive insights and reflections about one man's difficult journey. His experiences have meant a lot and taught a lot to those of us who travel a similar path.


kract said...

I cannot imagine the difficult life you must lead. I find it hard enough without being a professional athlete!

John B said...

Glad to see you're back and posting again! Sounds like life is going well. Here's to hoping the city you're in is somewhere close to me.... ;)

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Evan said...

Being Out in Pro Sports is a difficult thing to come to grips with. There is not much support (financially) for Out athletes. Hopefully someday there will be more supporters so we can all be ourselves and not have to hide.

Evan said...

Being Out in Pro Sports is a difficult thing to come to grips with. There is not much support (financially) for Out athletes. Hopefully someday there will be more supporters so we can all be ourselves and not have to hide.

tecknotot said...

I think your blog is bigger than you think for every athlete that knows about it in high school, college, or professional sports. It shows that there are others out there in the same situation. Things are slowly changing but its a shame that the 'Dont ask, dont tell' situation affects sports. Anyways, I wanted to say thanks for sharing yourself.

baxterdude said...

Thanks, man, for what you are doing. Hope your season is where you want it to be and that you are enjoying.

I work at a university here in the south that's one of the most diverse in the US. I've seen more tolerance for our women athletes than what's given to our male athletes. So many services off campus that some athletes can feel safe.

Whatever you do or wherever your career goes, keep up the blog and keep posting whenever you can. Our athletes need to at least hear the voice of someone who's in the majors and is making a life.

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Brain Mechanic said...

love it all. grrrreat blog.

myguiltypleasure said...

i think its great that u are comfortable to come out of the closet a little and to have a close network of friends is just awesome especially during the time when we are just freaking bored and got nothing particular in mind to do...well with all the talk, im still stuck at Phase zero: THE CLOSET MY BEST FRIEND...