Thursday, May 08, 2008


Hey guys! Most of you who read here know that I disappear from time to time. I have been busy with baseball and Ryan.

First, let's talk some ball.... ROD made a comment a while back saying, " Would love to know what team or even what league, or even what part of the county you play in. " Sorry bro... read back and see me flip out about people who constantly ask me about that.

The reason I don't share stats, positions and landmarks is because of how nervous I am about losing my job if I come out of the closet. I have been over it a bunch of times and won't get all fucking bitched up about it but bottom line, most of you may NEVER know who I am, unless I decide to call it quits and be "out" publicly.

Some people said they don't believe a word of what I write here. It's your opinion. Some dude called "crap_blog" knows what he is talking about. I have explained why here so check that out and then proceed.

For those who know baseball, I will tell you that I am playing at a high level and have made great strides with how I play my game. It's exciting because I never thought I would get back to where I am from when I was injured a few years ago.

Now for some big questions... Ryan.

Ryan has finished school and has moved out of his frat house and closer to where I play ball for a job. Yes, he was a frat all star. I have been hanging out with him and some buddies and it's been amazing.

When we go out in a big group of people we are best frineds. We have our fun drinkin beers, doing shots, making asses out of ourselves. When we get home and in the sheets, we are animals. Sex with Ryan is fucking amazing. He and I have a connection and will sometimes go for 2 hours without cumming and then we both cum at the same time and I got to tell you, they are some of the biggest loads I have ever had.

When he sleeps at my place he holds me and I feel so safe and comfortable with him. It's hard to go from that to a clubhouse that is filled with a bunch of bigots who use the word fag. I shouldn't stereotype all of them as bigots, but it's mostly a few big mouths.

I get a bunch of e-mails from guys asking if the guys I play with are hot. To answer you: Yes. I would say 95% of the guys I play with I find attractive. I have seen all of them naked and when I do I try to file it away in the back of my head. There are certain guys that drive me up a wall. They are ll exhibitionists that are always naked and have the bodies to back it up and not feel ashamed to be naked at all.

I hope to post some more for you guys soon. I want to udate more and welcome more of your e-mails.


dan said...

great post. damn bud. keep it up, the cool thing, is regardless of how hot a guy looks, making the connection like you guys have hanging out and all. thats real. later.

Hypnos said...

Nice blog... and nice post. Keep writing, I believe you and just don't pay attention on stupid emails :)

Anonymous said...

Keep on doing what you do. It's ONLY AFTER you make it to the big leagues and have made your mark that you may one day be able to change the minds of those in professional sports about who 'gays' really are.

Don't let the nay-sayers get you down. You may be the individual that someday is THE person who breaks down the gay-ceiling/wall in professional baseball. For that, you have my sincere respect!

Thanks for your incredible blog and for sharing your life with us!

Your bravery and fortitude is what enabled the gay rights movement to begin so many years ago at the Stonewall Inn!

Kelly said...

Kudos to you for having this blog. I understand the need to stay in the closet and appreciate it very much. I hope that you get the chance to post more often. I think in your position having an outlet like this without giving up your identity can only help you from going insane. I know keeping things inside and not talking (writing) it out can only cause mental anguish and that is not healthy. As far as coming out, come out when you feel it is best for you and those around you. Sounds like your relationship with Ryan is good at this point and he understands you... just keep playing ball, keep having fun with Ryan and when you hit it big and prove to people that being gay doesn't have to keep you off the field... then tell the world... otherwise, just keep us posted as to how things are going with you and your career... I wish you the best and look forward to more on your blog.

mikeinbama said...

Thanks buddy for updating us on your progress. Best wishes to you and keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

DAMN that was one hot post! I've been with my boyfriend almost ten years and I don't know if I've ever had sex like you describe with Ryan. Any chance you'd be into a four-way? Ha ha.

Dick Pics said...

glad you're back. and that bit about your sex life had me rock hard! looking forward to more posts.

Dick Pics said...

oh and i wanted to ask, is that photo of ryan?

haliaeetusguys said...

The life that you and Ryan share is surely a godsend to you. Got hard reading sbout it. keep posting!

Anonymous said...

i love your post, and i can relate to you sooo much, I dont feel like i can ever come out of the closet, and thats all of my post are under anonymous, its good to know that I'm not the only one.

And i linked you on my page cause I love reading about you. keep it up.

Anonymous said...

Hi Slugger -

It's great to see a new post from you, and I'm glad to hear things are going so well for you, both with the career and Ryan.

Sounds like you and Ryan have something special going on - keep it up! If you can hang out and have fun as friends, that's the best basis for a strong relationship.

As for those asking you to 'out' yourself, forget about them. You have to do what is best in your situation, and you're the only one who knows what that is. If keeping your identity private is what's best for you right now, then continue doing so. It has to be your choice whether to go public or not - you need to be comfortable with the decision. If the time isn't right yet, then so be it.

Keep up the good work (and play!)- hope to hear from you again soon!

Anonymous said...

baseball and ryan. nothing better, eh? Good to hear from you again.

Gomez Patchouly said...

I have you bookmarked and visit this blog everyday, so you can imagine my excitement when I saw your post. Well, okay, maybe I miss a couple of days because of work, but yeah. I am so glad you and Ryan are cool and so madly in love. I'm sure it's tuff enough being a closeted baseball player without having to be a lonely closeted baseball player. Can't wait for your next installment. Good luck on your career and stay healthy and happy.

Nick said...

amazing blog, just found it. hope u two will be really happy! u sound perfect for each other. keep te blog up! its great!


Anonymous said...

love you blog, thanks for sharing

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