Monday, May 21, 2007

Comments

I love that you guys leave me comments. I don’t update enough and I have got a lot of shit for it. I just got back from another weekend road trip that included stops in a few places.

I just got word that there is a chance that I will be moving up to another team and in a bigger city. I have been playing very well. The last series I played in I went 7-10 with 5 RBI’s. I think that might be the first time I have ever posted stats on here.

I should be getting word in a few days if they will be moving me up. If so I would be moving to a city that has some good nightlife and I am excited to get out of the small city/big town where I am now.

I wanted to talk about the comments everyone leaves on the site and the emails you guys send me. I still want to do “Ask Slugger” and keep you guys updated on what I am doing in my life and where I am going. I never suspected that there were so many guys like me out there.

When I say like me I mean former and current athletes that have had the same experiences. Getting e-mails from you guys is like crack. I can’t get enough of it. I do want to talk about some of the negative stuff I have been getting from you guys.

There have been a few of you over the past few weeks that have been e-mailing and saying that I should come out and be true to who I am and not hide because “everyone on your team probably knows that you are gay anyway.” To those who have said something along those lines I want to say thank you for your opinion but you are not in my shoes.

There is stuff that I share on here and stuff that I do not. There are a lot of guys in my clubhouse that are very homophobic and have said “I hate fags”. There are some that stick up for guys and say that they don’t care but for the most part it would be scary for me to even think about what could happen.

There was a guy a few years ago who was a good up-an-coming ball player who was rumored to have been gay. He ended up getting married and having a few kids after those rumors started to swirl. He was playing AA and AAA ball for a few years, bouncing from team to team and I got to know him his last year of trying to be a pro ball player. I had heard the rumors and guys had told me to stay away from him because he took it in the ass.

It didn’t matter to me. I was hoping that he would come out to me or try to hit on me, he was a good looking guy. One day he was called into the managers office and was told that he was being sent down to single A club in the middle of nowhere. H ewas having problems with his wife and money was coming in short. He decided to call it quits at the end of the season after begging to be able to play AA. This was just because there were rumors that he was gay. He was a great player and deserved to be at the AAA level even traded to a bad team like Tampa to try to prove himself. But because of the rumors he was run out of baseball. I don’t want to go down like that.

If I want to come out, I will likely do so after I am done playing baseball and have a secure job.

I had to get that off my chest. I am also awake on red bull and vodka and wanted to share.

17 comments:

Rick said...

Don't let anyone pressure you into coming out. You own it. You can do it on your own time. Keep your head in the game, enjoy the free time you get without getting sloppy, and the rest will fall in place when it is right for you.

Mike said...

Hey Buddy,
I enjoy your blog and wish you had more time to update. I know it's tough with all the travelling. I have written you a couple of emails and didn't get a responce back, so I assumed that you were busy. Without having to give us too much information, let us know more about your day to day routine. Update your blog more often, even if it is just a couple of lines of random thoughts. There are a lot of us pulling for you and want to encourage you more, but we know whats going on. Try not let the bad comments get to you. Good Luck with the rest of your season, and hopefully moving up the Big Leagues by the end of the season. Sorry about the situation with Joe, but try not to let it effect your game.

Take care of yourself and swing for the fences.

"Dudes Dig the Long Ball"

Michael said...

Slugger: I agree with Rick. Whether or not you're a closeted pro athlete or you're joe homo, coming out is something you have to do on your terms only when you're ready. When the time is right, it'll happen bro.
Keep up the blogging, and YANKEES SUCK. :)

Anonymous said...

I am really lucky in that I work in a really gay friendly environment (Airline) and there is no problem at work. Clearly not every employment situation is like that and you have to consider the impact it may have on your career. Work aside, if you don't want to come out, don't. You have to joy of living your own life and the decision is yours....... Ad

manhattanmarty@aol.com said...

Hey slugger:
Sorry to hear about Joe and the breakup. Good luck to you in making the move up! Great stats!!! And remember.. to thine own self be true. The only values that really matter are honesty and integrity. So, yeah, stay in the closet on the team.. who would fault you? But PLEASE.. don't compromise your beliefs or your values just to get ahead.

Kenny McCormack said...

Tilt ma hat.

Volker said...

From what you say it doesn't look like the ideal time to come out. As other have said, do this on your own terms and when the time is right. There are still a lot of homophobic people out there and they can make life hell if they're in a position of power! Good luck!

dan said...

crystal clear slugger.
keep up the great posts, stud.
later.

Happyskier said...

As you said in your blog, I never thought there were guys with similar interests and background. I was seriously into sports when I went away to boarding school in 6th grade. I started playing football and lacrosse and had never had such a rush in anything I had done before. Running full out for half of a football field and putting all of my aggression and heart into trying to run over the opponent I had chosen was the best outlet I could find for releasing my inner demons. Through jr. boarding school I started to develop feelings and thoughts that tormented me from 6th grade till after college. Now 26 I am just starting to let myself be who I am. I love sports still and, although I'm not still playing contact sports, I am following one of my dreams. Skiing out in CA has let me be surrounded by good people and I still get a athletic rush dropping cliffs and trudging up mountainsides to find fresh lines. I am having some of the best times of my life and it is great to share these moments with someone I care for. This is my first relationship/experience with a man and I still have questions about who I am and where my interests lie, but I am living my life now and am trying to live without regrets. There are parts of my life that some people don't know. I am fine with that. People I care about and trust will know, but as I said, I am still discovering myself.

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