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I love that you guys leave me comments. I don’t update enough and I have got a lot of shit for it. I just got back from another weekend road trip that included stops in a few places.

I just got word that there is a chance that I will be moving up to another team and in a bigger city. I have been playing very well. The last series I played in I went 7-10 with 5 RBI’s. I think that might be the first time I have ever posted stats on here.

I should be getting word in a few days if they will be moving me up. If so I would be moving to a city that has some good nightlife and I am excited to get out of the small city/big town where I am now.

I wanted to talk about the comments everyone leaves on the site and the emails you guys send me. I still want to do “Ask Slugger” and keep you guys updated on what I am doing in my life and where I am going. I never suspected that there were so many guys like me out there.

When I say like me I mean former and current athletes that have had the same experiences. Getting e-mails from you guys is like crack. I can’t get enough of it. I do want to talk about some of the negative stuff I have been getting from you guys.

There have been a few of you over the past few weeks that have been e-mailing and saying that I should come out and be true to who I am and not hide because “everyone on your team probably knows that you are gay anyway.” To those who have said something along those lines I want to say thank you for your opinion but you are not in my shoes.

There is stuff that I share on here and stuff that I do not. There are a lot of guys in my clubhouse that are very homophobic and have said “I hate fags”. There are some that stick up for guys and say that they don’t care but for the most part it would be scary for me to even think about what could happen.

There was a guy a few years ago who was a good up-an-coming ball player who was rumored to have been gay. He ended up getting married and having a few kids after those rumors started to swirl. He was playing AA and AAA ball for a few years, bouncing from team to team and I got to know him his last year of trying to be a pro ball player. I had heard the rumors and guys had told me to stay away from him because he took it in the ass.

It didn’t matter to me. I was hoping that he would come out to me or try to hit on me, he was a good looking guy. One day he was called into the managers office and was told that he was being sent down to single A club in the middle of nowhere. H ewas having problems with his wife and money was coming in short. He decided to call it quits at the end of the season after begging to be able to play AA. This was just because there were rumors that he was gay. He was a great player and deserved to be at the AAA level even traded to a bad team like Tampa to try to prove himself. But because of the rumors he was run out of baseball. I don’t want to go down like that.

If I want to come out, I will likely do so after I am done playing baseball and have a secure job.

I had to get that off my chest. I am also awake on red bull and vodka and wanted to share.