Wow, I am doing two posts in a row. Someone out there will have a hard on because of it. Read the "Ask Slugger" entry one down for a good question.
I have been SLAMMED the last few weeks. Lot has been going on. Thank you to everyone who is happy that I have been able to find someone like Joe. A lot of you have said that it "sounds easy" for me to accept it and still be in the closet. A lot of you have no idea.
For me, it's easy for me to talk about emotions here on the blog because it is my safe place. A place where guys, like me, and guys not like me have a chance to read about what I am thinking about while living in an environment that does not readily accept an openly gay man playing a game.
In front of the guys, and with a lot of guys who I have become close with, have NO IDEA that Joe exists. Remember, there are only a hand full of people that know me and know my sexual identity. These are trusted friends of mine that I have built up trust with enough to be able to talk about what I experience.
While I am on the topic, there have been some assholes out that think that after talking on AIM for a few minutes will automatically make me send them a picture of myself. ARE YOU CRAZY? I know a few of you are reading, it pisses me off when you guys do that so STOP.
JP, for example, a good friend of mine that I have known since I was a teenager at camp. He is a trusted friend, who I have been a dick to. He knows it, I know it, and I apologized to him last week and as a trusted friend he forgave me.
Back on topic, my blog is for me. It's my safe place to be able to come and talk about what I am feeling and what I want to do. I answer questions, give you guys an insight into what it's like moving up in the majors and some of my sexual history as well. I know I have been busy as all hell lately, but please, be conciderate of me.
As I said, life is busy, Joe is getting ready for graduation and has been really busy with everything that he needs to do to finish. He has a try-out for MLL (major league lax) and has been working out hardcore for it. I don't know what the future holds for me and this guy, what I do know is that I am jerking off way too much and when I am with him, the sex is amazing.
Sorry for the explosion up there, some stuff has been built up for me. Keep the ASK SLUGGER questions coming and I'll post something soon.
About Me
- slugger
- New York, United States
- I'm a former professional baseball player trying to figure out who I really am while living life halfway in the closet.
I wish I was David Wright
7 comments:
While I understand you wanting to keep your true identity to yourself and all, can we at least have a picture from like the chest down? It would be much appreciated and not identifying enough to broadcast who you are to the world.
I really enjoy reading your blog, keep on posting when you get the chance, as you already know its a get place to let it all out. Hope you have a kick ass season.
hey buddy, It's mikeinbama. I've written a couple of comments to your blog as well as sent you an email. I hope you're having fun while making your way to the majors. check out my live journal if you get the chance.
like your blog a lot and I hope you can post more.
You plan to one day come out? Or would that ever be possible. The environment seems to be much more friendly nowadays in the society. Probably not in the sports arena. But I just got too tired to be in the closet. What about you? you said that you got close to your buddies on the team, doesn't it kill you that they have no idea who you really are. Just wondering after reading tons of your posts.
best.
All the best, dude, keep plugging away and don't let the turkeys get you down. Always do what YOU feel you gotta do to keep YOU happy.
I echo Russell's encouragement....you need to do what YOU think is best for your career, your comfort level, and your life. Just know that there are some of us out here who enjoy your posts and respect you, even if we never will know your true identity......hell, Clark Kent was a nice guy, even to those who didn't know he was Superman!
Not to be a downer, but as you get closer to your team; someone's got to suspect your gay. Your with a bunch of guys, and yeah you may mess around with the girls just enough to keep the guys confused. But you will always be the team member who never seems to be seen with the same girl more than a couple of times, or never has a girlfriend. Your in your middle 20's now and as time goes by people will start to wonder. I realize just because people wonder, that is not the same thing as coming out, and I am not telling you to come out. But don't think you have everyone fooled, because trust me someone in the club house notices the little clues. Hang in there, I really hope you achieve your goals, both personally and professionally.
Post a Comment