Thursday, January 04, 2007

Happy New Year

Hello everyone and Happy New Year. I told everyone it would be a while in between postings. This will be a long post so bare with me.

First off, thank you for all the holday/new years messages. I know this blog means a lot to a lot of people. I have been neglecting you guys and it's you guys who have given me a lot more courage in myself to be who I am and enjoy life outside of baseball. It's still very hard to maintain my staright life and my gay life. My time in California is up. I have an offer to play baseball a little WEST of here. It's like, south middle west... does that sound vauge enough?

Anyway, I move from here in California to there. Most of my roommates are moving elsewhere too. One is going to be in Las Vegas so it will be nice to see him every once and a while. Pop up to Vegas, have a good time and know that I have friends there.

I had to tell the guy I was seeing that I was moving. I also told him what I did. I was so fucking nervous when I told him. We were at his house last week when I got word that I was leaving. We were on his couch chillin out, playing Madden (very straight of us) and I told him that I was going to be leaving California. Joe asked me why I was leaving.

At first I couldn't tell him. I looked into his blue eyes and saw that he was hurt. This was the first time that I had fallen really hard for another guy. I sucked it up and then let loose everything. I started to cry as I told him that I played baseball and that I couldn't tell him because of the game and was so nervous. He looked at me and hugged me.

When we broke away he looked at me and said, "So what you are saying is that I have been fucking a professional baseball player?" I started to laugh. Iresponded with, "No, I have been fucking an all american lacrosse player." We both laughed and talked about what I would be doing and he started helping me find a place to live in while I am with my new team. Joe has been busy with LAX shit so I don't see him as often as I wanted to. I know how it is with baseball and playing at the college level. It's a big commitment.

I am sure I will post about where I am but right now I am trying to keep it hush hush. But I will be back into the swing of things so to speak. I am looking forward to being with my new team, living in a new area of the country and meeting new people. It sucks that I met Joe when I did. but, the past month has been just amazing with him. We both really clicked together. He said that over the summer he wants to come visit and see me play. I have no problem with that because he is the straightest guy you would ever meet. Which is why I fell for him so hard. He has a messy room, loves playing video games, eating pizza and drinking beer. How could you not love that.....

I also want to give a couple shout outs, Micifus Phil came out of the closet to everyone, even his parents. I remember when I first started this blog back up, he talked to me about going into college and being a gay athlete and how he would handle it. I have been a reader of his, and I lack on leaving comments for people so I was a ghost when reading his entries and I have to say he has more balls than I ever could have. He has come a long way from when he first contacted me to where he is today as a person. If you read this blog still Phil, I am proud of you bro.

Someone else I neglect, JP.

JP and I have had a long friendship. It goes back to our days at football camp when we met and the summers he would invite me with his family to his lake house up in Vermont. We had a great time on those nights by the lake, and we still keep in touch, which is more than I can say for a lot of my friends from high school. He wrote me an e-mail saying that a lot of guys have e-mailed him who found his blog through mine. JP is a good guy, and I encourage you to all to check out his blog and shoot him an e-mail. I told him I wasn't really keeping up with it because I was always with Joe, I sat down and read all of his posts and he has an awesome thing going over there.

There are a lot of people I have lost touch with as well. I am never online anymore because we don't have internet at my house and I have to come to cafe's to make posts.

What this blog has shown me is that there are a lot of guys out there that are just like me. There are professional football, baseball, basketball and hockey players out there that read. College, high school athletes... and regular readers who aren't into fasion, show tunes and going to gay bars all the time. There ARE GUYS OUT THERE that are regular guys just like me. I met Joe. I get e-mails and IM's from guys.

My New Years resolution is to be more interactive with the blog. Back to how I was last summer. To those who knew the old Slugger before he disappeared from the face of blogland sometime in November, I am back. As soon as I move and get internet.

Sorry for the long post, I wanted everyone to know what was up and what I had on my mind.

To those of you out there that have emailed me in the past, shoot me an email when you read this. If you see me online, say hello, don't be shy. 2007 is going to be a big year for me, I can feel it.

e-mail -
AIM- Slugger0082
Yahoo IM - Clubhousecloset


Rob said...

I'm not sure why guys are so surprised when they realize that gay guys come in all types and are as much like regular guys as regular guys because, well, we are regular guys. I guess the stereotypes really play a number on our heads. My hope for the next years is that the straight world starts to realize we are just like them (apart from one pretty insignificant difference) and the barriers of pain and misunderstanding and deception finally come all the way the fuck down.

Jeff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff said...

I've been reading you blog for awhile. Started my own recently. Congrats on the new team in the "south mid west." Way to be vague. haha. Also, congrats also on finding love. It's hard to "let your guard down," but when you do, good things happen. I never excelled at team sports, but have been a runner for quite sometime. And yes, masc. gay guys do exist. My bf and I have been together 2.5 yrs and have run a couple marathons together. It's a good thing. Good luck out there...

Anonymous said...

Hey man. My name is Blake and I thought I'd let ya know that YOU are the reason I started blogging and- if you get the chance to read some of my posts- the reason I have made such progress.

Like you- I'm a regular guy who just happens to like other guys. I love sports- working out... all of it. I have become pretty good friends with JP through you and yeah- just wanted to say thanks man.

I linked you a long time ago- and good luck in the future bro.


firstimpre55ion said...

Glad you're sorta back Slugger! I've been talking to JP and such and am glad both of you have been blogging! Welcome back...sad to hear the news but that means you're moving up in your career which is good. Congrats on that...hopefully you find someone as awesome as Joe again once you move out to where you're going or have an LDR...Take care for now and TTYL!


Jason said...

just cuz you're moving away doesn't mean you have to lose contact with the guy you're seeing. Keep in touch, you never know, either of you may move together to the same place someday or try a long-distance relationship.

richardwatts said...

Happy new year, Slugger, and best wishes for 2007 - I'm looking forward to seeing what the year has in store for you!

redgalaxoid said...

I think you have more balls than what you think. You have had the courage to have some kind of relationship with a guy, even if you're still in the closet (God knows it'll take a while for me to do the same).
Anyway, I just hope things get even better wherever it is that you're going, and that 2007 will be as good as you feel it'll be.

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Micifus said...

thanks for the shoutout man, it def has been a long and interesting road i've traveled these last few months.

take care for now

-micifus phil