Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Drunkity Wedding

Wow.... What an amazing time I had down at the wedding. I had a lot of fun with the buds I haven't seen in a long time.

First I want to address something that I brought up in my last post. I brought up my friend Kerry and how she is my date to a bunch of weddings and how we have a history. I want to clear up some stuff to some readers who may not have read all my posts.

1) I AM NOT OUT - I have some people e-mailing me for advice on how to come out and how to deal with the gay feelings that they have.

While I am very confident that I know that I am gay, I still keep a masculine and straight profile with guys on my team and most of my friends. Kerry is a girl that I used to date back in college. I had very strong feelings. When we broke up it ws mutual. When I go to a wedding or other function, she is always my date.

As far as guys that need some good advice about coming out I would point you in two directions.

One would me to my friend JP, who started a blog after I urged him to do so. JP is in the middle of coming out to friends and family and can really answer questions better than I can about that.

Another person to look at is Micifus Phil. His blog seems to be down right now but he is a college student who came out and I talked to him when I started my blog.

Right now, I have no plans on coming out because of where my career is. This is not a knock on guys like me who are in the closet and looking for help on how to deal with the feelings. This is about who I am as a person.

Anyway... sorry for the venting. A few guys got to me this week. They will be ignored from now on.

Today I am leaving for Miami for a week or two. Haven't decided how long I am going to stay. I'm staying with some buddies of mine from college who live down there. Should be nice to just get away for a little bit seeing how I have been all stressed out lately. I'll have the laptop with me.

Still awaiting some more hot pix in my email.


Mike said...

Closet's such a sad place. Be out but be very discreet. That's the key to a happy gay life

JP Mac said...

I think you have the right to be who you are and decide when it's right fr you to be open about it.

I love you bro, you know that. fuck the haters

TonkaManOR said...

Yeah don't listen to the comments of those idiots if you don't want. You have to do things at your pace. This is about you... not them.

Everyone should only be concerned with themselves. Advice is just that advice.

And keep writing. I like reading your blog.

Adrian said...

I am so sorry that you cant come out in your life. I remember the closet and the awful pressure that it can put on your life. If you are happy and really do not feel able to be out then so be it, but I have to question how genuine the people around you are if they are not able to accept the real you.

Anyway, you seem like a lovely man and I just hope that you are happy and have the life you deserve... x

Anonymous said...

I'm sure a lot of people wouldn't mind touching Brady Quinn that way ;)

footballplaya said...

I'm with you on this one Slugger. At a Halloween party this week with my teammates, I had no trouble keeping up the straight profile even though we were all fairly hammered. (Coming out is definitely NOT an option.) I'm OK with leading the double life. Kind of a James Bond thing anyway I suppose. Have a great time down in FLA and thanks for keeping us posted!

Tyler said...

Hey Slugger,

It's not a Closet, it's more of a Fence! Or a Firewall! ClubHouseFirewall.com!

When you have a public life you don't need a bunch of usurious nobodies all up in your stuff, wanting your athletic bod, without caring about who you really are.

And back to the closet issue, it's more a matter of privacy and integrity. You're writing an anonymous blog while working to understand your experience in life, and the pressures you are dealing with. That's perfectly valid.

You don't have to conform to anyone's expectations. Just be uniquely you, and have a ball.

Anonymous said...

Slugger, don't let other people bother you. As a local government employee in a small city, I need to keep my life extremely guarded. It is a very personal questions to come out or not and I do not think anyone has the right to "out" someone or pressure them to come out. Frankly, gay guys put to much stress on "coming out".

geeknpink said...

i think only you can decide how to best live your life. for me coming out was the only way. however, i do have to admit i lost a few friends because of it...

Anonymous said...

Hey Slugger,
On one hand, I sympathize with your situation, that coming out seems impossible given your sports career. Everyone needs to come out when they are ready and it needs to feel right. On the other hand, I hope you get to experience the freedom that comes with coming out. You may lose some people close to you but you will be able to be yourself and speak freely about your life. Best of luck with this, and I look forward to all of your future posts!

Anonymous said...

Whatever you tell anybody is your business. The only issue I have to take with this post is the line "masculine and straight".

Gay doesn't equal effeminate. I hope you don't think so.

I am not a woman, nor do I act like one. Nobody I don't tell I am gay assumes I am gay, and I know more "masculine" gay men than I do cross dressers or men who just seem more like women than men.

Gay Guy's said...

You and Kerry had strong feelings for each other.

This is what my (gay) boyfriend keeps telling me too. And, he does not want to leave me but is on the verge of doing so because I have pushed him so much.

I cannot understand which to prioritize. The gay man he can be even if closeted.. or our relationship. I imagine you are happier being yourself.