A lot has happened since I last posted. John Amaechi came out of the closet. The former basketball player admits that he is gay. Pretty sweet. Off the top of my head there are only about a hand full of "out" former players in sports. Ones that have made public announcements. There are players that live out gay lives, without holding press conferences or writing a book. Some of you have asked me over e-mail about if I would ever come out of the closet while playing. I know it's not the time for me to do this. First, not many people would care and second, it would block me from advancing to a large market team in the future. I know, it sucks, but I have to look at the big picture. There are guys that rumors fly around about him and he gets stuck playing ball in bumfuck idaho for nothing. Most of the guys are straight but feminine. I don't know, it's not me, not now.
Joe and I have been e-mailing each other and talking on the phone pretty much everyday. It's a long distance relationship for now. I told him that if he meets a guy that he likes that by all means go for it. I know what kind of situation we are in. Plus he is a senior in college, I want him to have his fun if he meets a guy. He has been fucking some chick on and off all year. They once dated and now are fuck buddies. I have no problem with it because I do the same thing with girls. One day, I will look back on this and think how stupid it was to do this. But it is something I do to keep my reputation up as a player. Joe is a very cool guy and wants to eventually move to where I am and have a relationship the best we can. Time will tell.
I have got a LOT of e-mail lately from you readers and I have to say I am touched by it. A lot of you write in (because I am never on AIM... Slugger0082) and have had nothing but nice, kind words. I am responding to as many as I can. Apparently I am a busy and popular blog. JP told me about site meter and I get about 2,000 readers a day. You have remained loyal when I did not post for a while and was moving all over the US to play the game. So for you THANK YOU!
Everyone knows that my e-mail is Clubhousecloset@gmail.com
Now you know. I do not use any other kind of e-mail address for this blog. Someone is out there posing as me, using Slugger0082 as an e-mail address, this is my only e-mail. The e-mail that I get is strictly confidential. I never share names, e-mails or locations with anyone. Some of you have written in for Ask Slugger, and keep asking questions, it's fun to try to answer them.
I also like talking to other athletes out there who are dealing with the same thing. I have grown a pair of balls in the past few months and really like hearing from you guys. Suck it up and send a shout my way. Anyway, enjoy your week. I am busting my balls this week to make sure that one day I bring home the Benjamin's and can live like a rockstar.
6 comments:
Hey buddy, I love reading your blog. I was a D1 athlete and stayed in the closet. It was difficult living two lives while I played football. Now that it has been 10 years since I played, I've become more comfortable with my life. This blog is very helpful for guys going through the same things that you're going through. Keep up the good work.
Hey man - love your blog as well, I was college cross country runner, ex-frat, the whole nine yards, before coming to terms with who I was and being comfortable with it.
Best of luck to you man!
Is that you in the mirror? If so, dude, you are smokin'!
dude, when are you headin back to ny?
yeah nice pic...
Slugger,
After reading your entire blog, I wonder if your friends are really as clueless as you think about your sexuality? I bet some of them have\had their suspicions, especially the female friends in your life. Their intuition is generally strong; they read non-verbal communication so much better than men.
There was this episode of MTV's True Life series called "Double Life." One young guy they followed on the show was secretly gay. He would go out with his straight friends and hit on girls, get their numbers, etc. Then, on a different night he would drive 70 miles to another city, so he go to a gay club. He really believed he had everyone fooled. He finally worked up the nerve to come out to one friend, and she basically told him that she never thought he was straight, and she did not think of their other friends thought he was straight. Of course he was surprised to hear this. I realize that MTV could have dramatized this whole story, but the basic theme of the story has a ring of truth to it.
I think sometimes people have their suspicions about the sexuality of others, but they do not always call that person out of the closet, especially if they care about that person.
I do agree with your decision to stay in the closet with regard to your team, at least until you have reached your professional goals. However, you may have to be careful how much you interact with your team outside of the game in order to keep up the straight act. The more your team mates learn about your life and how you spend your free time, well it will create questions. Watch out for the other player's wives\girlfriends they can smell a gay guy a mile away.
I hope everything works out for you and Joe. I think at this point in your life, you deserve a true love experience. There is not another experience like it. You might also be surprised at how much a healthy loving relationship will improve your game.
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