Monday, November 03, 2008


Life without baseball is boring. Let's be serious folks. As you guys have seen, I was in a zone this past season and rarely came on here to vent or tell stories. I was incredibly focused. It was disgusting the routine I was in.

That is very important for an athlete. My routine was tight some days and light others. For the most part, I would work out in some form or another.

Ryan is also part of my routine and was there for me the entire season. We are definitely in a Bromance. Guys have asked me what our relationship is like and I really don't know how to describe it besides a Bromance with lots of sex.

I have had guys ask me if I was scared that a teammate would find porn or my blog on my computer... I am really not concerned with that because I am the only one who uses this laptop. I have a desktop out in my living room that I use to download music and do random shit on out there and only use my laptop for this kind of stuff.

With my free time I now have I have spent a lot more time with Ryan. We decided to have a "gay day"... his words, I swear. We decided to take an hour drive to a really nice mall and do some shopping and be ourselves where it was less likely we would run into someone we knew.

I was very relaxed with this and caught myself with my guard down. Nothing big, but had this over whelming "I don't give a fuck" moment where I wanted to go and make out with him in the middle of a Ruby Tuesdays or something... I also had this small fear that someone would see us trying on clothes and take my picture with a cell phone camera. You learn to live with it.

We did some clothes shopping and then headed to a movie. We had a bunch of stuff to choose from and he decided on High School Musical 3.

I was secretly happy that he decided on this movie because of my man crush on Zac Efron. If I were to ever meet him, I would want to bend him over and just fuck the shit outa him because of he's annoying. Muscular-twink annoying.

Anyway... we are watching the movie and there is a scene where Zac and the black dude head to the locker room for some reason and their replacements for the 4th installment are getting out of the shower.

There was a really built guy walking in the background and missed the premise of the scene but these two younger guys wanted to take over the lockers of Efron to show that they are the new leaders on the team. It's very high school. Zac says that they have to earn it, grab their clothes and run out of the locker room...

My heart started to pound because what happens for the next 2 minutes of the movie happened to me in real life, and it was in a Disney movie.

I have talked about what it was like back in high school and I remember telling a few guys, over e-mail, a story about hazing and what happened to me.

It was our first day in the locker room that we shared with the Varsity football team. As freshman, we had one small side of the locker room. From the start of our summer sessions we were told that we had to shower before we left the locker room to go home.

All of us were nervous 13, 14 year olds... we all started to shower and it got comfortable for everyone. One guy left the shower room and found that all of our towels had been taken. Turns our the seniors had decided to take them from us and we would have to run out to the middle of the gym to get them, during Vollyball practice. We grabbed our junk and made the run, like all the other freshman teams before us.

In the movie, these guys have towels on and Zac has their clothes. Still, it was weird watching it because I lived an entire scene years before it was filmed. I don't know if one of those guys I told the story to wrote it into the movie for me, but it was freaky.

I told Ryan the story at dinner that night and he was laughing. He has some fun hazing stories from being president of his fraternity and from high school too.

I am gearing up for a trip to NY in the next few weeks to see my family and hang out around Thanksgiving. I'll be away from Ryan for a while and it's making me sad thinking about it.

Fuck I am really into him.


haliaeetusguys said...

I'm glad you're into Ryan and things are turning out great for both of you. Keep us posted! - Volker

Doug said...

I'm happy for you and how into him you are. Brings a smile to my face as I read about your "gay day" and how you decided on High School Musical 3. hehe.

Steven said...

That scenario has happened to everyone in high school.

Not me, though. Hated gym.

Anonymous said...

I am very happy for you. Don't question it, just go with it. Good luck.

dan said...

hey bud, good to see you blogging. man I could really get into the sort of thing you and ryan have, if I could just find the right guy back in the states. anyway, enjoy the down time. good to hear things have been going well. later.

james said...

Regarding you plan to play winter ball? What about conditioning/working out? Do you keep to a routine in the off-season and if so is different from your in-season conditioning? Do you have any thoughts, objectively, on the MLB post-season this year?

Anonymous said...

Be careful. A moment's "who gives a fuck" decision could result in a lifetime of regret.


Anonymous said...

Well I'm paranoid too. Probably suffer from some paranoid complex, but it does feel nice on those days when you say "who gives a fuck" and you are yourself.

Some days I'm more paranoid then others. Your bromance as you call it sounds awesome. It's exactly what I'd like I guess. Glad your enjoying life.

Jay said...

bromance :) love it

Stephen Chapman... said...

Showering when you at first at "big school" is awful and completely alien to be doing it with your friends!

Makes me shudder even now.

K. said...

everytime i remember high school showers it reminds me of the time i checked on this lad and he actually saw that i was looking at him and for about 3 sec witch looked like 30 min we looked at each other. Nothing happened since we weren't alone but we're still very good friends. Be carefull when you want to be yourself:-)

hbjock said...

Totally happy to see that you could have a day to yourselves bro. I would imagine that most gay athletes don't get that luxury.. or don't think that they have that kind of an option.

Anonymous said...

Dude, I can't believe you guys saw High School Musical 3! That must've been a sight seeing these too hot masculine guys walking in to see that. Ha ha.

Too bad you have to be so closeted though, I remember those days and am glad to be done with them. Hope you can be someday too.

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