Drunkity Wedding

Wow.... What an amazing time I had down at the wedding. I had a lot of fun with the buds I haven't seen in a long time.

First I want to address something that I brought up in my last post. I brought up my friend Kerry and how she is my date to a bunch of weddings and how we have a history. I want to clear up some stuff to some readers who may not have read all my posts.

1) I AM NOT OUT - I have some people e-mailing me for advice on how to come out and how to deal with the gay feelings that they have.

While I am very confident that I know that I am gay, I still keep a masculine and straight profile with guys on my team and most of my friends. Kerry is a girl that I used to date back in college. I had very strong feelings. When we broke up it ws mutual. When I go to a wedding or other function, she is always my date.

As far as guys that need some good advice about coming out I would point you in two directions.

One would me to my friend JP, who started a blog after I urged him to do so. JP is in the middle of coming out to friends and family and can really answer questions better than I can about that.

Another person to look at is Micifus Phil. His blog seems to be down right now but he is a college student who came out and I talked to him when I started my blog.

Right now, I have no plans on coming out because of where my career is. This is not a knock on guys like me who are in the closet and looking for help on how to deal with the feelings. This is about who I am as a person.

Anyway... sorry for the venting. A few guys got to me this week. They will be ignored from now on.

Today I am leaving for Miami for a week or two. Haven't decided how long I am going to stay. I'm staying with some buddies of mine from college who live down there. Should be nice to just get away for a little bit seeing how I have been all stressed out lately. I'll have the laptop with me.

Still awaiting some more hot pix in my email.

Off to a Wedding

So I am off to a wedding! One of my really good buddies from college is getting married down around DC this weekend and I am taking off from now till Monday... I'm real excited about it. I haven't seen him in a VERY long time. He is working in DC, doing something with the government, I don't know... but he has an amazing house in Virginia and a really cute new bride.

I have to fess up about something though. I am bringing a girl with me to this wedding. I have been getting some e-mails from guys saying, "If you aren't dating a girl, and are as good looking as you probably are, some people are going to start asking questions."

Well, this girl, Kerry, has been a very good friend of mine since college. While I was in college, she and I were an on and off again couple. A gasp and hush falls over the crowd. Kerry has, for the most part been my "beard" in social settings. She is single, very good looking girl who I clicked with my freshman year, even though I knew I liked guys, but I needed someone to keep my image up as the "straight all american baseball jock"

A reason I have not shared anything about her on here is because there is some stuff that I keep guarded from you guys. A few months ago I thought I was found out, but it turned out ok. I am sure there are many more questions you guys want to ask, now that I have come clean about my "beard" that I have, even though she is not a girlfriend per say.

Kerry and I are NOT dating and are not exclusive. When I need dates to stuff like this she usually is the one I ask. We have not talked about relationship, even though I have heard from her friends that she really wants to "make something work". I decided that this was the time to tell you guys about this. I'm still debating on taking my laptop with me on the trip. If not I will see you silly fuckers next week.

E-mail me questions and stuff. Even hot pix. No one sends me hot pictures anymore to post. I'll take anything.. you... that hot guy from Facebook you stalk... hit me up with some hot pix to post on the blog... and some for me to enjoy when I get back from this wedding.

JP

Now that I am back in the NY area I had some time to go and see someone that has helped me through so much, JP. His little blog has really gained some faithfull readers over the last year and I am proud of him. I know, I sound like a proud parent. He wouldn't be blogging if it wasn't for my pushing him to..

Anyway, I met up with JP over the weekend at the Giants game this past Sunday. He is a HUGE Giants fan, as is the rest of his family. It was nice to see his dad and sister and to hang out and tailgate before the game. We had a great time at the game and it was good to just catch up with him, in person. JP and I have had a great friendship, one that started at a football camp and grew over those summers and then online while in college.

Saturday I went up to see him in Connecticut and we hung out, had a few beers and then Sunday went to the Giants game. I know I have plugged him before, but he is a great guy.

I have so much time on my hands right now. I am off to the gym soon then who knows. Everyone be on the look out for me online

AIM - Slugger0082

Ask Slugger

It's ask Slugger time!

I have been getting some great questions from people and here are some questions and answers that I would like to share with you guys.

1. Have you ever had sex with someone while you (and/or the other person) were in full uniform/gear (pants, shirt, jock, cup, compression shorts, etc...)? As an closeted athlete, I have fantasized about doing this, but am not sure about persuing it because I'm afraid I'd be thought of as a freak.

A: Well, I don't think you are a freak. I think it would be hot to have sex in my baseball uniform. I always wanted to fuck Joe while he was wearing his gear. Just made him look real hot. LAX guys are usualy really hot so why not. I hope you can live out your fantasy soon. Plus send me some pics of you in gear... that would be hot!

2. Anonymous said...Hey man, Got a question for you. Whered all your stories go. They were really good. It got almost everyone hard. Have you met any baseball legends?

A: First baseball legends... I have met a few. More on those later...

Stories... I have been slacking on stories but wanted to share a story from a guy I have been talking to. It's really hot and something I thought you guys would enjoy... I'm working on a something for you guys but first here is "Marc"

Hey what's going on? I just wanted to send you an email and tell you how much your blog has resonated with me, and really helped me when I was going through some stuff. I'm 23 years old, just graduated from college. I went to a Division 1 school and for 3 years of college I secretly dated a member of our football team...a football team that is consistently ranked in the top 25 in the country and qualified for bowl games at the end of every season. I am also an athlete, played hockey, baseball, and tennis all my life. But I lacked the tenacity to pursue athletics at that level - academics became more important to me as time wore on and I realized that sports was not a realistic professional goal for me.

Anyways, we met in the cafeteria. After some long staring matches I was standing at the bar outside of the checkout line getting my stuff together and I was packing up my things. He walks up from the "football table" to get some condiments. I look over at the beautiful man I've been staring at for weeks thinking about how badly I wished he were actually into guys, because I was sure that he wasn't. He asks "What do you think - barbecue or honey mustard?"

Anyone who knows me knows that I am obsessed with bbq...so I said "I've always been a bbq guy myself." He responded "I sorta picked up on that, I've been trying to figure that out for a while." Being the awkward sophomore that I was, I walked away very confused. After more staring matches about 2 weeks later I was sitting outside reading my book and he was walking up to the caf with his friends. He motioned that he needed to use his cell phone and walked over and sat down next to me and said, "Are you gonna ever grow the balls to talk to me or am I just gonna have to wonder about getting to know you."

He could tell I was hesitant and unsure so he just said "Look, just give me your number." He texted me later as we were sitting eating lunch at our respective tables and it said "I love watching you smile."

Anyway, I'm droning on and probably boring you. We started hanging out after that and soon began sleeping together. At first, we were both scared and it was purely sexual...but after a while we couldn't deny it anymore and the feelings crept in. He was/is my first big love.

We've come to a point where he is probably going to enter the NFL draft after the season and have realized that it is too hard to be together. We can't ever see eachother and we are both so closeted and in different social circles that it's just nearly impossible. My heart is still broken...I think his might be too. At least I hope it is, as bad as that sounds. .

Keep your questions coming! I always like questions, stories, pictures... HOT PICTURES. LOL

New York, New York

It feels great to be back in the New York area. For those that live around here, I think this is the best time to be here. It's cool out temprature wise, the leaves are falling and nothing is better than walking around New York City and not having to worry about sweating.

This past weekend I spent it in New York with some buddies from college who now live and work in NYC. I wish JP was still living in New York so he could go and intriduce me to all of his friends that he made while living here. That's ok because I am heading up to Connecticut this weekend to chill with my buddy and reconnect with him. Watch out Connecticut!

My boys in NYC are all the financial types. Wall street guys who make a lot of money and have no time to spend it. When they do have time to spend it they go nuts. We went to this club called Bed and had bottle service all night long. It was great to see these guys and just get trashed. I don't remember much of what happened after 3am but I do remember waking up with a pounding headache.

Sunday was spent watching football at a bar in the village getting rowdy and just enjoying the company of these guys. I'm excited for the weekend and seeing JP for the first time in ages. That should make for some great stories!

Thanks to everyone who comments and has kept coming back to the blog to hear my rants about my life playing baseball. The e-mails I get are also great. I have been trying to keep up with all the e-mails and have got back to most of you. As you all know, I dn't share much on the blog but have opened up with some guys on e-mail.

I love talking to other guys and seeing how they are doing. E-mail me ClubhouseCloset at gmail

Life

Hey everyone. I'm back. Its been so long since I have said hello to you. People have e-mailed and wondered if I had just gave up on the blog. It has taken a back seat to what has been going on with me professionaly and personally.

First, baseball has been amazing for me this year. Many of you know I fought through an injury and came back to playing and have been playing VERY well since that time. I don't share much about stats here because of the paranoia I have about being found out about. Most of you have been great. When I do share something about myself to a reader, they know it's because of a trust I have built up with them.

So, what's up with me? I am in New York (state, not city) visiting my folks and hanging out with them since my season is over. It's a great feeling to know that all I have to do when I wake up is go to the gym. The gym is my place that I love to go to. I love working out and keeping in shape. My body has been loving the attention I get from guys I see walking as well as the girls that talk to me while out at bars.

What! GIRLS? Calm down everyone, I am not leaving you for pussy. I'm just liking the attention I am getting.

As far as the guys go for me, it's been interesting. I wrote about YoungGun and got MANY e-mails about him. Well, his antics kept up. We would share a room and sure enough when I "fell asleep" he would jerk off. This happened a few more times and then I asked him about it...

"Dude, were you jerkin off last night?" I asked

YoungGun: pause.... "No, I get enough pussy from my girl. I don't need to jack off."

"Bro, I heard you jerkin off last night. It's no big deal. Just wanted to let you knowit's not that big a deal to me."

From there YoungGun opened up and we talked about sex. Not with guys, but girls. We had a blast telling stories and laughing about all kinds of stuff. That night as I was falling asleep he said he was gunna jerk off. I told him cool that I was falling asleep. He doesn't care much. He is like a little brother to me now. I would love to just slam his ass but we have grown our friendship. It's been great.

Joe - I still get questions over my first love of my adult life. He is great. We still talk. His career playing lax is taking off and has been going part time to grad school. He is dating two people right now. One guy, one girl. It pisses me off that he found someone else and has a girl on teh side to keep up his image to the guys he plays with. I can't handle having a bf and playing at the same time. I don't know how he is doing it.

That's what has been going on with me. Look for more posts to come. I have some good stories from teh season that I will share with you guys.

It's good to be back!